My Boys
by Fat Puppy
Summary: Season 14 - Mary POV. Tag to "Prophet and Loss" and follow up to my other short tag, "Tomorrow." Mary's thoughts on her boys.


**My Boys**

_**SUMMARY: Supernatural Season 14 - Mary POV. Tag to "Prophet and Loss" and follow up to my other short tag, "Tomorrow." Mary's thoughts on her boys.**_

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Somehow Sam had talked him out of it. His suicidal mission to save the world from Michael by allowing himself to be consumed by the archangel for eternity, in a box, somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. I don't know how. I don't know what the final trigger point was for either of them. But it all made sense now. Now I knew why when Dean came to me on his farewell tour, that he kept insisting that he couldn't be with Sam. In the absence of his younger brother, Dean would be able to stick to his crazy-ass plan without diversion of any type. Without interference.

With Sam around, well...there it was.

When I'd come back from death, I'd gotten a quick taste of what these boys...my boys...meant to each other. I didn't really comprehend the extent of it all until Dean walked through my head and turned me from a brainwashed British Men of Letters soldier, to myself again. The rawness of Dean's emotional admittance about growing up in such a life and having to be Sam's everything to raise him and keep him safe and then thinking that he'd failed horribly so many times over. It was a weight that I put on a four year old boy that no child should ever be burdened by; that no child would ever survive. Yet, Dean did survive. And he carried his baby brother with him the entire way. That same baby brother who couldn't bring himself now to let go of that older brother and allow him to bury himself for all eternity, forever tortured by an archangel.

I'd heard stories from Jody. Jack. Castiel mostly. About these boys. There were warnings in those stories at times, mainly from Castiel. Warnings to tread carefully in their relationship. As their best friend for many years now, he'd been allowed to witness a selected sliver of the codependent existence he'd spoken of; though he admitted that even he wasn't privileged to the most affectional of moments between them. I'd been pointed to books, apparently written by God himself, which were basically an outline of their lives. I'd scanned through them, but felt I was trespassing into areas where I just didn't belong.

Sometimes I didn't think I belonged here at all. With them. At this part of their lives. They didn't need me. They liked to think they did, but they'd survived all this time with only each other to lean on. I was often a burden that they simply could not recognize.

But I was here now. And I loved them both dearly.

When Sam had called me from the bunker late that night about Dean's change of heart, there was a relieved though dire desperation in his voice that I hadn't heard since I'd been back. It was the first time I'd heard him cry. The first time he'd let me see the complete, filterless, honest and true emotion that he often bound within himself. I knew as I listened that Sam had given every last ounce of his heart and soul to save his brother from self destruction.

Dean hadn't wanted Sam near and this was why.

At the tail end of that call though...there was hope and even an etching of happiness, dare I say. Sam announced that he and Dean would be going out for breakfast tomorrow morning. Just the two of them. A bout of much needed brother time before the real battle began.

Breakfast. Such a simple gesture. An hour in companionship over eggs and bacon. Or as Sam told me, Dean would shovel in a stack of pancakes loaded with gobs of lardy butter and sugar-rich syrup until he imploded. All with the world's stupidest grin on his face. I could just picture the relaxed smile coming over Sam's own face as he spoke so fondly about the one person he loved most in the world. The one person he could never bear to lose. I smiled back, though he couldn't see me over the phone...but maybe he felt it.

I didn't know what the future held for me or for my boys, but I was damned sure I'd do everything in my power to never allow them to lose the other. I owed them that. I owed them everything. And they needed each other like life needed breath. So, I wouldn't let them down. Not this time.

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The end.


End file.
